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What If You're Feeling Empty During the Holidays?

Keywords: miscarriage, grief, loss, holidays, grieving rituals, perinatal trauma.

How do we cope with the profound pain of miscarriage and loss during a season often associated with joy and togetherness? Why does the holiday season intensify our grief, and how can we navigate cultural expectations that demand we put on a brave face?

In this heartfelt episode, Justine Leach and Sarah Adelmann delve into the deeply personal and often unspoken experience of miscarriage, loss, and trauma, especially as they intersect with the holiday season. Justine opens the conversation with a poignant quote by Zeynep Gurtin, "A moment that changed me: My miscarriages were devastating – but an orca gave me comfort and hope", setting the tone for an in-depth discussion on the unique challenges of grieving during a time traditionally filled with celebration.

They explore why grief feels particularly acute during the holidays and the societal pressures to appear cheerful despite personal sorrow. The discussion highlights the importance of acknowledging and honoring one's loss, the role of rituals in the grieving process, and the often-overlooked grief for the loss of an imagined future.

By addressing losses that are not always recognized by society, Justine and Sarah emphasize the need for supportive spaces where individuals can authentically express their grief. This episode underscores the significance of allowing oneself to fully experience and process grief and the critical role of community and support during such times. At the end Sarah mentions the book Healing Your Grieving Heart After Miscarriage: 100 Practical Ideas for Parents and Families by Alan Wolfelt.

We are hosting a FREE training on Trauma and the Perinatal Journey on Dec 2 at 9am EST live on Zoom. The training will be recorded so he hope you will still sign up even if the time does not work for you: https://resilient-birth.mykajabi.com/pl/2148550678

Takeaways

  • Recognition of Miscarriage:

    • Miscarriage is often not acknowledged as a significant loss by society, leaving those affected feeling isolated and unsupported.

  • Cultural Expectations:

    • Societal norms and expectations during the holiday season can place additional stress on those who are grieving, making it harder for them to cope.

  • The Role of Rituals:

    • Rituals can serve as a powerful means to honor loss and facilitate the healing process, providing a sense of structure and solace.

  • Varied Manifestations of Grief:

    • Grief is not limited to the loss of life; it also encompasses lost futures and unfulfilled dreams, which can be equally painful and deserving of recognition.

  • Importance of Support:

    • Support from friends, family, and the community is crucial for those experiencing loss. However, it is often insufficient, highlighting the need for more compassionate and consistent support systems.

  • Challenges of the Holiday Season:

    • Acknowledging the emotional toll of trying to "show up" and participate in holiday festivities while grieving is important for understanding the full impact of loss during this time.

  • Self-Reflection for Better Support:

    • Engaging in self-reflection to understand one's own feelings about loss and grief is vital. This awareness can enhance the ability to provide meaningful support to others, including clients.

 On the Resilient Birth podcast, Justine and Sarah explore the impact of trauma across the perinatal period, from trying-to-conceive to pregnancy, from childbirth to postpartum and parenting. Through an inspirational quote that drives our weekly conversations about trauma and healing, Justine and Sarah explore topics such as birth trauma, parenting as a survivor, and finding healing with vulnerability and compassion that support birthing people and birth professionals.

Each week, listeners leave with takeaways to utilize in their lives and/or clients. Justine and Sarah hold the stories they share with honor and respect with the hope to impart knowledge, increase understanding, and bear witness to this challenging topic.

Sarah is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, and mom of three. She walks with a story of trauma from before and as a result of her perinatal experience.

Justine supports survivors of trauma through perinatal coaching and childbirth education. As well as being a mother of three, she holds a Ph.D. on representations of consent and sexual violence.