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Honoring Maila: A Mother's Story with Helena Morais

Keywords: grief, Black maternal health, pregnancy loss, preeclampsia, stillbirth

In this episode of the Resilient to Birth podcast, hosts Justine Leach and Sarah Adelmann welcome Helena Morais, who shares her profound journey of loss after the stillbirth of her daughter, Maila. The conversation explores the sacredness of relationships that transcend death, the challenges of navigating grief, and the importance of information and advocacy in maternal health, particularly for Black women. Helena emphasizes the need for awareness around pregnancy risks, particularly for marginalized communities, and the significance of honoring lost children. The episode concludes with reflections on the loneliness of grief and the importance of community support.

Helena Morais a mother of two: one earth side and one ether side baby. Her firstborn baby girl Maila Angela Viana Morais was stillborn at 36 weeks and 5 days on the 29th December 2022. Giving birth and becoming a first time mum with no baby to bring home changes you in indescribable ways. The only way she has found to survive with this grief, pain, rage and longing has been to talk. She survives by unapologetically continuing to share her story and finding alternative ways of continuing to parent her child. She would have had to dedicate her life to caring for her daughter had she been born alive, to Helena this does not change just because she is gone. She will be dedicating the rest of her life to continuing her legacy. In turn she hopes to encourage and hold space with other mothers choosing to do the same. 

 Takeaways

  • The relationship with those who have passed remains sacred.
  • Awareness of pregnancy risks is crucial for all parents.
  • Advocating for oneself in healthcare is essential.
  • Honoring lost children is a vital part of the healing process.
  • The experience of loss can feel incredibly isolating.
  • Information about maternal health should be accessible to all.
  • Cultural disparities in maternal health must be addressed.

Sound Bites

  • "The relationship does not end."
  • "Grief is an awful, painful thing."
  • "I didn't want to be a statistic."
  • "I'd rather be scared and safe than sorry."
  • "You know your body better than anyone else."
  • "Grief is a very lonely experience."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:05 The Sacredness of Relationships Beyond Death

05:31 Helena's Journey: The Loss of Myla

11:42 The Birth Experience and Its Challenges

18:55 Honoring Myla: The Importance of Connection

24:32 The Need for Information and Awareness

32:51 Advocating for Yourself in Maternal Health

39:18 Conclusion: The Loneliness of Grief

On the Resilient Birth podcast, Justine and Sarah explore the impact of trauma across the perinatal period, from trying-to-conceive to pregnancy, from childbirth to postpartum and parenting. Through an inspirational quote that drives our weekly conversations about trauma and healing, Justine and Sarah explore topics such as birth trauma, parenting as a survivor, and finding healing with vulnerability and compassion that support birthing people and birth professionals.

Each week, listeners leave with takeaways to utilize in their lives and/or clients. Justine and Sarah hold the stories they share with honor and respect with the hope to impart knowledge, increase understanding, and bear witness to this challenging topic.

Sarah is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, and mom of three. She walks with a story of trauma from before and as a result of her perinatal experience.

Justine supports survivors of trauma through perinatal coaching and childbirth education. As well as being a mother of three, she holds a Ph.D. on representations of consent and sexual violence and is currently doing a Masters in Counselling.

Learn more about Sarah and Justine's course called Trauma Informed Fundamentals here: https://resilient-birth.mykajabi.com/traumainformedfundamentals